Shitty Album I Used to Rock Out to:

Flesh and Blood by Poison

When I was eight or nine years old, I had some really shitty taste in music. I watched a ton of MTV and my brother and I were members with one of those companies you could order tapes from each month. In order to not get a really shitty tape sent to us we had to buy a certain number of tapes each month. This caused us to have a lot of tapes. We basically bought the tape for each band we liked from MTV...and thus, Flesh and Blood by Poison came into our house. I remember listening to three songs from this album. The first was Unskinny Bop, possibly the stupidest song about sex ever...check that, Cherry Pie is the stupidest song about sex ever. The others were Swamp Juice (soul-o) (I listened to it because I like that the song title had a play on words) and Something to Believe in. All these songs are terrible, and they are the best on the album.

I remember a month or so later, as I was now a big fan of Poison, I bought one of their other albums, Look What the Cat Dragged In. This album has an amazing cover, where all the band members are completely glammed out, wearing a crazy amount of makeup. A friend of mine, came over to my house, and was looking through my tape collection and remarked: "Oh man, the chicks in Poison are really hot!"

Somehow, Bret Michaels, the lead singer for Poison, has managed to kinda-somewhat, stay in the limelight. He had a dating show on VH1 and he released a solo album as recently as 2008...not that these things are relevant, they just serve to point out that Michaels, while a bit douchey, has some weird quality that helped make him famous, and has kept him famous. And thanks to that, as an eight or nine year old kid, I gave the guy some of my money.

The only cool thing about Poison is C.C. DeVille. I saw this guy on Rock and Roll Jeopardy a few times, and he tore it up. This guy knows everything about music. Not only was it great to watch someone dominate a quiz show, but it taught me not to prejudge people based on their appearance, 'cause DeVille looked like he would be a moron, then he kicked ass at trivia.

Anyway, enjoy gouging your eyes out to this sweet live Unskinny Bop video. Michaels performs about 1000 pelvic thrusts during the three and half minute long video. This video is a bit of an aberration for late 80's early 90's rock videos as there is a decided lack of strippers prancing around...in place of the strippers we have Micaels who looks like a stripper, slides down a stripper pole, and dances like a stripper too. The bastard probably got a lot of ladies in his day. My favorite lyrics from the song come right after DeVille's solo: What's right/What's wrong/What's left/What the hell is going on. As a kid I loved it because he said "hell" in a cool voice. Now that I've fessed up to owning this album, I hope I don't have to hear it again.